Dancing An Endless Waltz

2012-02-15T23:28:00.001+08:00

Maybe I should concentrate on what I do best...being alone

2012-02-14T23:16:00.001+08:00

Guess it back fired...>.<

2012-02-13T18:24:00.001+08:00

Finally back on blogger...XD

2012-02-10T12:13:00.001+08:00

Dengs...why...why all have to be in that situation??not exactly all...but most...am I destined to do it?damn

2012-02-06T19:56:00.001+08:00

My cousins brought their gfs to the dinner they are hosting..then one of my uncle begin a conversationUncle: Han, where's your gf?Me: nah...don't have one yetUncle: not planning to find one?Me: *silent*Uncle: faster go find one la...see my son..gf from UCSI also...*chuckles away with others who listened to the conversation*Me: *smiles and look down at my iPad*You think I don't wanna get gf meh...have ppl want me Jin tak geh...if relationship stuffs were to be so easy I wouldnt be single la...it's bad when you don't have anyone to share your troubles with...it gets worst when someone says things like the above...I do not know what others feel if they are in my shoes...but OTHERS wouldn't know HOW I feel

2012-02-06T05:00:00.003+08:00

It's 5 am...here I am coping with insomnia...I think I need to talk to someone about the issues affecting me...but the question remains, who to talk to, who is willing to listen?While the search continues...here is a song I enjoy a lot

English Translation
Please, take me to the town of wind
On the other side of time
Please, grant the wish
Of my pure white flower
Grab me by the hand with your gentle fingers
And take me far away
Guide me to your world
So I can be with you
Without even a whisper of your song on this fateful afternoon
Two lovers awake to become one
For the first time, they'll learn what true happiness is
Take me away
Your singing voice resounds
All through my heart loudly and sadly
On a night where I sleep without knowing the meaning of happiness
[chorus]
Together, we can go
The great distance
Beyond a dream I don't know yet
To the town of wind

Baby Marimo

2012-02-03T15:58:00.002+08:00

~~Baby Marimo~~Finally got my new aqua pet today with one of my buddy.That aside, looks can be deceiving, a person may look all tough and strong from the outside but he/she could be as delicate as a flower. The person may seem to have nothing to say in the presence of friends, but actually he/she is lost for words as no words are able describe the feeling that is felt.I may sound and look happy or cheerful at times, however deep down inside I just need someone to hold me and tell me 'everything is gonna be alright, I'll be here for you'...Although I smile all the time but it doesn't mean I'm happy...somehow I just wish I have someone to talk to..guess until I find that person, this will be the place where I share my feelings, my emotions, my thoughts as well as my dreams...P.S. thank you for reading

2012-02-03T02:22:00.001+08:00

From a lovely anime, which talks about friendship even after death.Lyrics itself makes you feel touched

2012-02-02T17:31:00.001+08:00

Right...got her number today :D

Emoness

2012-02-02T00:07:00.001+08:00

Life is a journey of torment and filled with cruelty..yet each and everyone of us must go through....what's the point of missing someone who don't even know of your existence?:(

2012-02-01T19:56:00.001+08:00

Aftermath of cny...boring...done with my supplementary paper...now..keeping up with my assignment

2012-01-27T20:56:00.001+08:00

Lovely place

Banding lakeside inn...:)

2012-01-24T16:37:00.001+08:00

Day 2 of Chinese new year...rotting with my friend after reaching kl from malacca...>.<

Chinese new year

2012-01-23T00:37:00.001+08:00

Happy Chinese new year...owh well not really happy la...hahaJust some ordinary day...only thing is that I received a lot of cash in the form of red packets:)Gonna save them for a camera or some other stuffs...:DSorry to say but I am missing her...her smile...her glittering eyes...which often brighten up my day (or night)But she is like avoiding me...maybe because we have yet to get to know each other better...yeah...perhaps she could feel it once we get to know each other better...at least...I have to be positive...that's the only thing incan do for now...Some thing stung my thumb...hurts like hell now...have to drive with my lefty only

Location:Leboh Ayer Keroh,Melaka,Malaysia

2012-01-19T14:07:00.001+08:00

Damn stress lo...friends always FFK me...sien la

2012-01-18T11:13:00.001+08:00

Dammit...kinda miss her now...although I've been seeing her...but I guess that's not enough...I wanna get to know her more:(

2012-01-18T01:33:00.001+08:00

Walked into my room door just now...now feeling disorientated...saw her today but didn't get the chance to talk to her:(

2012-01-17T00:12:00.001+08:00

Hmmm..today has been a super duper long day...somehow I feel happy as I was able to see her adorable face todayP.S. xion..you wanted to be in this post right?XD

2012-01-15T01:42:00.001+08:00

oh ya..just a little something that i just thought off...guess my birthday present from someone was to get to know her that day^^feeling good just by the thought of it...wonder how will it turn out....guess ill be active again in blogging...hehehehe

2012-01-15T01:35:00.001+08:00

GAME TO LOOK OUT FOR!!!

2012-01-15T00:04:00.001+08:00

www.facebook.com/reidhimurawelcome to my facebook page...do add me up as i love to meet new friends^^

2012-01-13T15:58:00.000+08:00

Favourite Game

2012-01-13T15:52:00.000+08:00

long time no post edi...now have to reopen it to do assignment...hahaha

2011-10-31T02:42:00.002+08:00

Went back to malacca for cousin's wedding...somehow it feels like a pressure cooker for me as most of the aunts and uncles knows me...asking when is my turn..then my mom pulak started giving me 'that' face....manage to pull jokes out of it so I can escape..haha...owh well...class later at 8 am....OMG....

2011-10-21T03:06:00.002+08:00

Alright...it's been awhile...heard stuffs from my close friend today...regarding my dressing...is it really weird??
If it is how come no one tells me?or you ys just leave me to be the laughing piece in other people's eyes?
Now I know how my classmates view me last time....they think I'm a freak...I believe that's why they decide to set me aside....not only my high school fiends....even my primary school friends choose to set me aside...perhaps it is my fault....but if it is my problem, as my friend (if you consider yourself to be one) you guys should at least advise me....but now I know...what you don't like you set aside and forget them....am I really that weird?I really wanna know....

2011-10-15T22:18:00.000+08:00

Blog have been dead I guess...but I guess I'll resuscitate it...by posting again:)

2011-09-11T23:33:00.003+08:00

Dear bloogie
I'm feeling sad...coz sad memories have just struck me..I remember last year...during moon cake festival..I made moon cakes for her...I drove her to a place so that we could see the moon together...just by remembering what I have done for her...makes me sad...and at the same time angry...do I deserve such treatment? Everything I did I thought of her...but what I got in return?nothing....nothing at all.....just some acting and words that come out of a script....I'm not happy....feeling dul...I guess thats just my luck to have meet her...had feelings for her...and then ditched...haiz...

2011-09-05T00:37:00.002+08:00

In 8 hours time marks thte beginning of my final sem in foundation year...excited...:)
Still I'm still thinking about the day you asked about my uni...I was very happy when you told me that you might join my uni...but in the end...nah...we can still see each other right?though we are studying in different uni...kinda miss you...:)

2011-09-02T15:17:00.002+08:00

Life isn't kind at all....every time I wanna make a move...things always happen that restrict me from making my move....thus tossing me into the sewers of hopes shattering...I'm just feeling so very down these days...even when I'm back in malacca...I'm feeling like shit...I wonder if I could recover from this state....I certainly like to recover and get myself another life...next sem starting on Monday....feels good....to see my friends again...but then again...haiz....

2011-08-28T23:17:00.000+08:00

I think I need to date someone...

2011-08-27T04:12:00.000+08:00

Gonna tell the story tomorrow...sorry for this short post

2011-08-24T01:00:00.002+08:00

Have been emo lately...even during my holidays...I just dunno what to do anymore...I dreamt of my ex yesterday and woke up in tears....it's been so long since it happened...during lunch yesterday...went to sri petaling to makan...with few friends...out of the sudden they started taking about ex-es...and that was when my emoness spiked to the max....totally no mood at all for the rest of the day...did I mention my mom is girl hunting for me?that somehow made me feel desperate...I wanna talk to you....but I don't know what topic to talk about....haiz...how nice if I could just erase all those sad things...I don't want to let chance fly again...for I've missed a lot of chances...

2011-08-12T00:30:00.002+08:00

Finished studying....but out of a sudden...I miss you....it's really hard not being able to talk to you after so long...but how am I gonna make an impression if I'm not able to talk to you?
I had just notice that you are the person that understands me most...though we may not share the same passion....then again passion can be nurtured if one is willing to teach and another is willing to learn...somehow I miss those days when I could talk to you about anything...but now....we seem to be worlds apart...I miss that smile of yours when we were at the restaurant...I miss your laughter at the movies...I miss your eyes...which is filled with hopes of tomorrow....you might be thinking that I'm emoing of some sort...I'm not...or maybe i am.....I guess I'll just have to suck it up and get it over with my exams....then decide on what to do with this feeling...:(

2011-08-08T01:18:00.002+08:00

Had a charity dinner today...it reminded me of my ex....nearly broke down....had to excuse to the washroom....my little nephew notices it...he ask...why you look so sad one??and gave that innocent look....I said it's nothing....but deep down inside....I'm really sad....how can a person forsake another just because he is trying to be better in life??life...is filled with saddness and sorrow....until someone arrives and turn that sadness and sorrow into something that is worth suffering for....I think I've found that person....but she just doesn't know it...she have been really busy these days....hardly have a chance to start a conversation with her,,,,

2011-08-03T18:59:00.002+08:00

it was suppose to be group work...but i end up soloing all the way...and guess what..i still manage 7.57 out of 10 points...XD

2011-08-03T12:02:00.001+08:00

Have been busy lately....no time to post stuffs....don't even have time eat...but there's one thing I won't have no time to do...thinking of you

2011-07-28T12:46:00.003+08:00

SSomething is bloody wrong with me....for the whole 90 minutes of lecture...I don't even understand a single thing the lecturer said...shit la....what happening to me.....and the best part is...this chapter was suppose to be my best chapter....>.<

I don't feel ok today...at all.....totally not in the zone....can't feel it...the air around me seem to be stale....stagnant....:(

2011-07-28T10:39:00.002+08:00

It's been a hectic week for the past 2 weeks....it will continue on till the 19th of august as that day is the last day of my exam...and there is only 1 week break till my final sem...why do I think of you so much?even in my bypusy schedule I still have time to think of you....the thing is I don't dare to SMS or call you...haiz....I wonder what is gonna happen...

McD Olympic Run 17/7/2011 (I ROCKS)

2011-07-17T23:32:00.002+08:00

Report
Today woke up at 5..prepared for the mcd run...didn sleep well also...too excited...left home for the train station...found my way to merdeka square...waited for the race to start...0730 sharp..the race begun...ran the first 1.5 km...then had to slow down due to the steep slope and little speed monkeys aged 12 to 14...continued the journey though I thought of giving up...then you came into my mind...I started smiling and continue my brisk walk/slow jog...looked at my watch...10 minutes left...and I was like 1 km more to the finish line...made a final push and manage to complete the course in 63 minutes and 31 seconds...so yea...the feeling of completing the race is indescribable...some collapse after the race because they sat down the moment they reached the finish line...I'd say today is a good day....feeling happy and proud of myself...even though my dad told me that I cannot finish in time...very demoralizing..but I proved him wrong...I can do anything when i put my mind to it...gonna sleep now...gonna do a recovery run tomorrow in the gym tomorrow...
P.S. I miss talking to you...miss having meals with you

2011-07-14T13:08:00.002+08:00

Today...fee like like shit...whole body aching...left my proposal at home...no one at home to email to me...fucked up la today...

2011-07-14T01:18:00.001+08:00

Today...dead...maybe tomorrow...sorry

2011-07-13T01:10:00.001+08:00

I think I might blog tomorrow...anyone can help me with my animation assignment?T.T

2011-07-04T14:24:00.001+08:00

Dear bloggie...
Today was a dull day for me..somehow I remembered some unhappy stuffs...Almost the whole day emo like no ones biz..went to the library..FREGGING NOISY...almost shouted in the library..seriously noisy...something like someone is shouting behind you..

Then just got the news of lecturer going against his word...from10~15 minutes presentation now it has to be 15~20 minutes...seriously angry now...

While doing my laps..feet felt sluggish...looked down only to find my shoe was torn...small tiny hole...but it will get bigger if continue using them...maybe gonna get another pair next sem...see if I can save enough...:(

Overall..not a good day...
P.S.: walked into a bus stand pole today...pain...have to pay more attention walking

2011-07-03T01:49:00.002+08:00

Its been awhile since I've written my report...so here it is...
Feeling...kinda sad...I think i know why...but it's best if it's not shared...sometimes to not feel sad is to feel sad...WHY??
It's because by feeling sad...you don't know what sadness is...it's sorta like a reverse thingy...at least that's what I think...owh well..I have a presentation on Tuesday...slides not done yet..and the best part is...I don't even know where to start...

2011-06-30T02:05:00.000+08:00

Am I the only one whom updates blogs??feeling so quiet...

2011-06-28T00:57:00.002+08:00

Report
Today was a gloomy day so start up with...went for exams...CE wasnt that bad...AP did a lot of silly mistakes...have to study up and do more practice...decided to join the olympic run organized by mcd...7 km in 70 minutes...gonna start training everyday after uni...I wonder if my body can take the beating...owh well shall see about it tomorrow...basically it's gonna be 1km in 10 minutes...that's the max time per km I can have...if I can pull this off I'm actually a step closer of being a healthy person I hope...to me it's like endurance...if I can cover 4 km in 55 minutes walking with load...I believe I can cover 7 km by running with the same time..maybe a little more...hehe..owh well..another long day tomorrow..looking forward to training tomorrow...how nice if I have a training buddy with me...

2011-06-27T01:55:00.002+08:00

It's been awhile since I've blogged....so here's another report...
I've been really lazy for the past few days...my exam is at 8 and here I am emoing,..thinking on what to do with feelings...unnecessary ones I think...or maybe crucial ones...I don't even know which category this feelings fall into...trying to clear my mind...the more I try the more I'm unable to focus...all I can think of is you...its like the moment you told me you're leaving for uk...and that you encouraged me to find you there..I feel like you are telling me to meet your expectations...I thunk I really should stop now...I might wet my pillow tonight....so there...

2011-06-24T20:48:00.001+08:00

Report:
Today I feel....erm...ok i guess....slept almost the whole day...just felt tired to the max...now talking to Loki..sorta enjoying it...:)
Wanna feel better soon...hehe:)

2011-06-21T23:50:00.002+08:00

Today...hmmm...i sorta burst during my bus ride to uni in the morning...then the whole day was like super gloomy...thanks to some of my friends who persuaded me to follow them to mcd to lighten up...laughed a lot there...but still not much of change...while walking back...played my SE Walkman...bounced all the way back...like hopping across the road, hopping while walking along the sidewalks, hopping up the hill towards my house...not tiring..but it was rather fun...some good news came my way today...dad brought back the loan application form for my car...filled it immediately..and give back to dad...now all I need to do is to wait...according to dad its gonna take 3 to 4 weeks...owh well...I've been waiting for 4 years...what's 4 weeks gonna do to me?

Anyway tomorrow is my computing essentials lab test....anticipated to be an interesting one...hope to do well

2011-06-21T00:14:00.003+08:00

Somehow...im feeling jealous...non of my relationship went pass 5 months...except the first one...
All over facebook, in uni, or even back at home...people are wishing others happy 6th month anniversary or happy 5 years anniversary...wtf I have?an ex gf who's dead, an ex who saps money, and another highly unreasonable one...i wonder when is all these gonna change?
Not trying to be disrespectful but this is the reality I face everyday...couple walking happily hand in hand in campus, having lunch together, some even choosed to share a meal together...though I try to avoid looking or even thinking of it.....they still come back to visit me....either in my dreams...or in the form of hallucination...haven been sleeping well again...haunted...by the past....wished that someone would come by and wake me up...save me from this horror of my own doings....however, as the sayings goes...god helps those who help themselves...what if I'm helpless?I hate to admit this but I am...I haven felt this miserable since the passing of my 1st ex gf...now that the feeling is back...what am I to do??back then I had some of my close classmates as well as some pen pals to express myself...now...my classmates,high school ones thinks that I'm a jerk...act before thinking like some mother fucker sohai.....if I wanted to be one I wouldn't have kept you guys in my handphone contacts, my Facebook friends list nor would I offer help to some of you guys...you guys just toss me aside...but when you guys are in need of help...all he'll breaks lose when I deny to help you due to my disability to assist...some of you might think that I'm bringing old grandmother stories....but this is the wan I'm feeling...if you are not part of the solution..then you are part of the problem..so STOP giving me anymore problems and DON'T COMMENT...I have more than what i can manage now...somehow this has been a long post....but I just wanna write it all out...some research papers I've read states that by writing, it helps to release the tension that has been accumulated after all these years...if it works it's gonna happy posts starting from tomorrow....

Another research paper I've read, states that I person may look normal and calm...but internally...there's this storm happening deep down inside...where this individual tries to suppress by being with others...but when they are alone...they become a completely different person...it's like an old Greek myth about this group of people from the berserker tribe...they are all calm at first sight...however in battle mode...they takes hold of a different personality as a whole...being in the berserk state of mind, their physical and mental strength improves tremendously, as such they were able to last longer in battle, take more damage...up to date...such personalities still exists in us...the only thing that sets us apart from berserkers is that is this state is dormant in each and everyone of one of us...scientist today define this state to be the adrenalin rush or also known as the flight or fight situation..on the contrary Greek mythologist believe otherwise...berserkers were able to activate this state of mind...as for us it comes naturally when we are in tight situation...if you wanna know how a berserker feels like in berserk mode, just think of the feeling that someone is coming after your life...and you have nowhere to run...you are left to fight for your life...that's what it feels to be in berserk mode...the urge and the rage to survive...willing to do anything to stay alive even if it means to kill your way out of the situation...it is said that a berserker can take on 15 Roman infantry at one go and still emerge the victor....I wonder what happens if I got pushed to that state of mind...what will I do?killing spree till I get killed?or kill myself to protect others?....I guess time will tell if I get to that state of mind...

Bt one thing for sure...I'll kill myself before hurting anyone whom I love...after all...no one should pay for my own disability to cope with stress...ahhh....feeling slightly better now...just a little but a little helps...sikit sikit lama lama jadi bukit, direct translation little little long long become hill..XP

2011-06-19T01:59:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder...am I doing the right thing?
Am I making any progress at all...
Or was I dreaming of progress....
You said you would see me in UK..
I wonder how true is that...
I wonder if I can make it to UK...
I want to be there....
I will be there....
I must be there...
Not only for you...
But also for myself...
I'm gonna strive hard and strong from now on
In everything that I'm doing...

Nights...

2011-06-16T02:51:00.002+08:00

Currently viewing the lunar eclipse...it's so awesome...first time in my life experiencing eclipse...too bad non of my camera is capable to take picture of this event.....I hope you are here to share this moment with me..:(

2011-06-15T00:05:00.002+08:00

Able to hear from you actually made my day..or at least gotta talk to you...feeling alot better compared to this mornings shits and stuffs...thank you

P.S: I seriously need to get off my autopilot mode while walking...drains, trees and poles always find me inn their paths...DX

2011-06-14T08:50:00.002+08:00

Evything is only workable....when I have my own transport...my own ride to get around...it would make work easier and not burden anyone else......

2011-06-13T22:46:00.003+08:00

Chance

I believe a lot of things happen by chance
I believe a lot of things happen for a reason
If not by chance, i wouldn't have meet you
If not for a reason, I wouldnt have gotten to know you

A chance given, should be a chance taken
A chance given, shant be thrown away
Life is too short for fooling around
Life is too short for chances to pass by like that

If I were given the chance
I would grasp it
I would keep it close
And not let go
Because life is too short
To not embrace chance like this
If only I was given the chance

I hope I would be given a chance
To embrace this vast world
With you by my side
Hand in hand
Supporting each other
Sharing my future
With a person like you
Would be a pleasure of a lifetime
So what say you?

By Reid lee

2011-06-13T00:57:00.001+08:00

It's been awhile since I've posted something here...hope to come out with something tomorrow...damn insomnia...

2011-06-10T01:16:00.001+08:00

I've decided....you are the one...no more mistakes about it....if only you would gimme a chance....

2011-06-09T02:20:00.000+08:00

Don't wanna be too late again....need to take the chance..if given any.......

2011-05-30T14:02:00.002+08:00

It's always sad to see the person you wanna talk to or get to know better ignoring you to the max..don't even look smile back when you smile to them...or greet back when you greet them....sometimes these petty things could hurt you know....but I guess you won't know it...unless you are here reading my blog....

2011-05-29T15:46:00.002+08:00

Trying hard to think what do you really mean....are your hints referring to me or someone else?
Dont wanna make a fool of myself...

2011-05-29T14:55:00.002+08:00

A simple word could mean differently for 2 person...so it's kinda hard to choose the word of choice sometimes....

2011-05-27T15:06:00.002+08:00

There are certain things that are better to be kept known to ourselves than to share with others....by sharing...we might feel better...that Is if no one comment about it...be it a good or bad comment...some comment actually hurt us more than making us feel better...at leAst this in my point of view...I'm not taking views of others...simply views of what I'm looking at...sad....the world is just sad....or rather I'm just a pathetic piece of shit....

2011-05-26T20:44:00.002+08:00

Haiz...the feeling isn't going away...it's sticking to me like glue...or should I say flies on a chunk of meat...kinda angry from myself for feeling this way...why...why am I feeling this way....everything I do...I do for myself....thinking of you makes me strong....however...the feeling of being ignored isn't good at at all....I just hate being in this state...how the world revolves??we are always blinded by petty things...our heads ask us not to go..yet our hearts say we have to do it....and what we get in the end??tears,hurt feelings,broken hearts,shattered dreams...and damn we take forever to recover from it...like me....I haven been able to sleep for the past 3 days....I'm so tired of things....I wonder how long can I hold on.....

2011-05-26T10:52:00.002+08:00

Currently in class..Waiting for the lecturer to start the class...feeling like shit...im always feeling like this these days...haven been able to sleep for the past few days...I seriously need to change...change the way I think....change the way I do things...i dunno....

2011-05-22T01:37:00.002+08:00

Unifest was fun...the sad part is that I didn't manage to find the person I was looking for...and I didn't mange to stay till the band I was waiting for to perform...one buck short....Kyoto protocol was cool...beat boxer Shawn lee was cool...all thanks to my sisters...it won't be a next time for them in unifest UCSI...just kills my mood...

2011-05-20T13:42:00.003+08:00

Went to Plaza pudu as planned...manage to get myself a pink tshirt...looks nice...feels nice...and how much does it cost?take a guess its Durban brand...now back in uni...exactly 1 hour and 15 minutes before my class starts...iPad battery is at 80% which I think can last till tonight for sure..currently in the uni's library doing nothing....one big table here and I'm sitting alone....:(...sux to be me

2011-05-20T00:09:00.002+08:00

Heading to pudu plaza tomorrow morning...just to kill some time as my class starts at 3...I'll be doing my homework and have my lunch down there...hope it will be a good day tomorrow....emoness is still with me...still refuses to leave me behind....wish to see you tomorrow...:(

2011-05-18T23:26:00.002+08:00

Owh well...guess another day is gonna pass just like that...hope tomorrow won't be so emo edi la...>.<...

P/S...didn't sleep well last night...hope I would be able to sleep tonight...oh emoness please leave me....I wanna get on with my life

2011-05-18T09:14:00.002+08:00

I'm posting this because I'm darn bored in the computer lab....and my new assignment is to prepare a multimedia software and prepare a game to play during my lecture class next week...>.<....

2011-05-15T19:27:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow is gonna be another long day in the university...gotta wake up at 5 just to travel to uni because my class starts at 8...feels like an idiot for doing it every week...3 times a week...on the 3rd day I would normally look like a zombie....>.<...

2011-05-14T01:27:00.002+08:00

This is a post from my ipad...hmmm.....somehow im feeling ok today...the person whom i wanna get to know from my first sem asked for my number today...good or bad thing i do not know...but one thing i do know that is she is taken...and it isnt my thingy to break ppl up just so i could be with her...its just not my thing...being used in a relationship sux i kow it becuse ive been through it....im begining to lose a little faith in certain things...what is it im not gonna disclose it here

Why you ask??because there are some bastards who read my blog and sing it to the world....i might and might not post it on my second blog...i might just write it down into my note page here in my ipad which i believe would be much safer..so yea..

Currently reading an ibook on the history on japan..intersting piece...but if you are not into reading long journals please dont attempt it...You might die of bordem...:)

Currently also waiting for some kakies too be free for an outing....still cant wait to get my car...though im darn tired of asking already..

2011-05-11T19:20:00.001+08:00

having digestive probs...everything i eat keeps on coming out...

2011-05-08T17:53:00.000+08:00

somehow...im feeling darn emo...>.<...

2011-05-06T22:11:00.002+08:00

today i finally found out the reason over my break up..which i think is really stupid...

the news came from one of her close friend...they have been asking her why for so very long..not because i asked but they wanted to know...

the reason was..im going back to studies...thats the fuckingly stupid reason...makes no sense at all....

at least now i know the reason...i can go peacefully now...

2011-05-02T13:47:00.001+08:00

how am i suppose to ask my dad about the car thingy.....:(
almost all my class starts at 8am...so i have to wake up everyday at 6 just to go uni so i wont be late for class??i already dont have enough sleep..and now i need to wake up at 6 just to travel to uni??hate my life so much

2011-05-02T01:58:00.003+08:00

Anata To

Romaji
Sakki made naiteta kimi ga
Ima tonari de waratteru
Sukoshi sakini
Matte kono no miraini
Tadori tsukete yokatta

“kimi wo, kizutsuketakunai”
Kono kotobani nigeteita
hontou wa dare yori
Jibun ga ichiban
Kizutsuku no ga
kowakute

Konya, kodoku to jiyuu wo
Hane nishite
Anata ni kai ni iku
Koware sou na kokoro no tomariki wa
Anata to
Kaketa negai

Deatta ano hi no yume wo mita
Te mo tsunagenai mama futari
Warai koe ga
Tada toki wo tsunai da
mirai nante mada mienakatta

Mega samete kimi oboe ba
Tenohira ni kobore ochita
Ano hi no nukumori
Sotto nigiri kaeshite
Afureta namida ni
me wo tojita

Donna sasai na itami mo
wakeatte
anata to aruke kara
togiresou na
kokoro mo dakishimete
anata no
soba ni itai

donna kodoku mo jiyuu mo
hane nishite
anata ni kai ni iku
kowaresouna
kokoro no tonari ni wa
anata to
egaku mirai

Donna sasai na itami mo
wakeatte
anata to aruke kara
togiresouna
kokoro mo dakishimete
anata no soba ni itai
ashita mo
soba ni itai

English Translation
you who had been crying previously
have recently begun smiling
i’ve just been
waiting for this
i’m glad i got here

“i don’t want to hurt you”
i escaped into these words
in truth, more than anyone else
it is myself that
i’m most afraid
of hurting

tonight loneliness and freedom both
are felt in these wings
i go to meet you
while on this perch for broken hearts
the promise
we made together

i had a dream of the day we met
we were two people not even holding hands
our laughter
only served to pass the time
we somehow couldn’t see the future

if i were to think of you while awake
it would just fall and scatter in my palm
the warmth of that day
i tried to grasp it softly
but in the tears that overflowed
i had to close my eyes

no matter how slight the pain
share it with me
if i could walk with you
please hold my
stopped heart close
i want to be
by your side

all the kinds of loneliness and freedom
are felt in these wings
i go to meet you
right next to
my broken heart
is the future
we see together

no matter how slight the pain
share it with me
if i could walk with you
please hold my
stopped heart close
i want to be by your side
tomorrow too
i want to be by your side

2011-05-01T22:20:00.000+08:00

i guess ill blog about the trip tomorrow or later...experiencing coach lag...>.<...

2011-04-23T19:09:00.001+08:00

i think i need a beer....:'(

2011-04-22T00:58:00.002+08:00

today...was...ok...made my 10k steps..walked for about 7km plus...and im not feeling tired...tomorrow heading to high school..have something on..rotting away...

P.S...nearly got robbed again while walking back..will explain in tomorrow's post..if any

2011-04-19T00:56:00.000+08:00

not feeling so good today....so not gonna post...

2011-04-17T22:48:00.002+08:00

tomorrow would be the last day of my exam...i believe ive studied enough to take on my lecturer's challenge.....SCORE A in his subject...but even a B would be good enough for me..dont wanna standout too much...so i think im gonna do another reading before i turn in...exam starts at 1000 for economics studies and at 1430 ill be having film and arts appreciation paper...then im free...not exactly free but free from exams...for this sem at least...haiz....i should be feeling happy...but how come im not...damn

2011-04-17T02:47:00.001+08:00

2011-04-15T22:50:00.000+08:00

it must be you...YOU!!!!
but...its okie...i guess ill take my time

2011-04-15T02:18:00.001+08:00

report...
hmmm..today i feel alright...not too bad not too good...bet my passport done in 45 minutes so i guess thats alright...suan la..blog tomorrow..sleepy

2011-04-15T01:49:00.001+08:00

2011-04-14T23:24:00.002+08:00

i wonder what should i do tomorrow...maybe ill go through my economics studies again...and also my film studies...haiz...somehow i feel like talking to you..but i end up talking to my tortie...i wonder whats wrong..>.<..

2011-04-14T00:41:00.000+08:00

why...why.......WHY???!!!!

2011-04-13T17:24:00.001+08:00

2011-04-12T23:49:00.003+08:00

dear bloggie
the day was fine..nothing much...studied my OA sub...went for the paper..kinda heartbroke when i see the paper...effing hard....>.<
but i guess i still manage it well...i hope...
next would be the how am i feeling today...hmmm..i still cannot seem to find a word to describe how i feel...but its kinda 50/50 today...so i guess im ok la...
tomorrow is yet another paper...QUANTITATIVE METHODS...the topic where im not so good in..but i studied...and so manage to obtain a little more information on how to work my way around the questions...i guess we'll see how it go tomorrow...paper is at 10 am..so i wont be able to blog about the final moments tomorrow...so good luck...wanna go to pikom on sat...or mayb friday...dunno la...find kaki 1st...otherwise i might just end up going there alone again...

2011-04-11T21:07:00.001+08:00

will be having exam tomorrow...office application paper...i wonder how would it be...for now...im shutting my eyes from the world...for i do not want to do anything stupid anymore...i was very blind in fact...but ill try to make up for it...i hope to be able to make up for it...

2011-04-10T22:20:00.002+08:00

dear bloggie...
i wanna say that i love myself..i promise not to do stupid things...actually i accidentally walk into my room door today...for the whole day i felt my head pulsing...but i still manage to finish my meal and there wasnt any nausea feeling...so that should mean im ok..no concussion...mayb thats what made me write this entry now...

how i wish that night never ended...she was so happy that night...i felt her pulse through her hand and it was beating very fast..or was it my own pulse??i dont know..but one thing im certain...i never felt that happy before since a long time...i also wanna say im sorry for being the way i did that night..truly sorry of i made you unhappy in anyway..well guess its time to go..

Michael Bolton - How Am I Supposed To Live Without You (Live at The Roya...

2011-04-10T11:55:00.001+08:00

i dont care whats the price im gonna pay...as long as the dream become a reality...

2011-04-10T01:40:00.000+08:00

things often get hard and harder...but never easier
my friend just broke up...and shes crying almost everyday...i hope she pulls through this stage...i wonder is there something i can do to cheer her up...she have been crying throughout her relationship period with this guy...she have been strong for far too long...everyone has their limits...but once they are over it....they'll break..when they break...dont expect butterflies coming out...you can expect prehistoric creatures or even wrath of gods like the war of Ragnarök

just beware of a person's limits..

2011-04-08T01:30:00.002+08:00

tomorrow is the day....so my plan is like this...go to her with a Mars Bar..with a good luck note paste on it...behind it ill leave my number and text me...its kinda old fashion but thats the best i can come up with...>.<...XP?

i wonder if thats gonna work....tomorrow is gonna be the day...

2011-04-07T01:22:00.002+08:00

only caught a glimpse of your face today through the tiny window...kinda sad though...i dunno what to talk to you about....but i need to make myself braver...i do not want you to be swap a way by anyone...i need to be quick and swift...like...like...ninja??i dunno...2.30pm will be my finals for moral studies...and all i can think of is...you...too bad you do not read my blog...or you do not know i have a blog...owh well...

2011-04-06T00:38:00.001+08:00

i seriously wanna see you tomorrow...please let me see you....hehehe..wanna ask for your number....msn...and......hehehe:D

2011-04-05T16:36:00.002+08:00

im not a substitute to anyone...i dont treat you like one..dont you dare treat me like one...

2011-04-03T22:55:00.002+08:00

its gonna be a.....i dunno what to say...
i had dreams about you recently...cant remember what was it about..but i tend to call out your name..last night when i was asleep with my parents in the room...i called your name..and both my parents heard it..but left me to continue sleeping..in the morning before leaving for the cemetery..they asked me..who is this girl's name whom you called out to last night?....i dunno how to answer also...there are certain things that i like about you..but i dunno if you know that....
how your eyes light up when i passed you a pack of rocky
how your smile lights up my darkest day
the way you look me in the eyes and smile when you see me in the cafeteria
the way you talk actually amazes me..though i haven really spoke to you
but the best thing i like about you is how you treat people...i remember the day we meet during orientation but i was afraid to approach you...all i could do is greet you good morning and smile...after that day i lost track of your whereabouts..until 3 weeks ago...when my other friend introduced me as her friend to her friends...and there you were..with the sweet smile of yours you said 'nice to meet you'..though we were completely strangers...you were able to speak up to a stranger...this is what makes you special...normally girls would wait for guys to introduce themselves...but you..went ahead of me when you introduce yourself to me...i feel so silly and the only thing i could think of was..'wow..shes pretty'...pathetic am i?

then i added you in facebook but didn have the guts to even send you an inbox message..not even a wall post...i guess im just a pathetic coward...but i told myself...this friday during class..im gonna ask for your phone number..but i wonder..will you gimme?i guess i will have to find out this friday..i hope you would give me your number...i really would like to know you better...but this only could happen if and only if you agree to give me your number..so im having my fingers,toes and what ever that i could cross...crossed..XP

so i guess ill leave it at that...and another thing is....how to i ask for your number?dun tell me im gonna ask like a normal simple 'may i have your number??' way right...should have some creativity...must give good first impression ma...owh well...its gonna be my exam week...

starting off with
moral studies -7 april
Office application -12 april
quantitative methods -12 april
economics and film and arts -18 april
so basically need to enter nerd mode again...

2011-04-01T00:12:00.001+08:00

its april...and my 1st sem is coming to an end...time flies...im so gonna study for my finals...chew the papers and swallow them...kidding la...i will score A's for most of my sub...i must!!!

2011-03-30T19:33:00.002+08:00

i was walking back home from sri petaling station...while walking i was thinking...why did i acted that way?how can i fall for someone who already found her other half?
why...how...when...i just wish that i would forget you...i do not want to be loving you in silence...the thing is you do not know that i exist..maybe you know..but didn take note..your smile,feels so gentle...your eyes,filled with life...your glasses,looks perfectly fine on you...your hair,looks so soft and silky...but im sorry that ive fallen for you...i will pull away...and not destroy your current relationship...because i respect you...im sorry